Some even go so far as to say essentially, “This is why Christian women end up dating non-Chrisitan men.” According to these folks, if all the Christian guys would just ask women on dates then everything would work out. And as a guy it’s really hard to navigate that culture.
In the secular culture its much more cut and dry when it comes to asking people out (or hooking up as the case may be). On the one hand we are supposed to only ask people out that we think we can marry because marriage is the goal.
To explore some of those things better, consider this article.
Above all, such counsel will involve a careful examination of motivation and a re-examination of the trustworthiness and goodness of God who doesn’t call us to compromise in our devotion to him, but to trust him.
One of the things I’ve heard over and over in recent years in the Christian circle of singles is, “Why don’t Christian guys ask the Christian girls out?
” This can be said several ways but the message is essentially that guys should “man up” and ask out all the Christian girls regardless of who the women are. The Christian dating culture has made this so complicated and confusing.
The Christian Connection discussion boards are a popular way to share stories, advice and opinions about life as a single Christian.
I’m not saying that was right, but that’s how it felt.
The second factor at play here is that a lot of guys have never been taught how to be effective in talking with women.
Now some women and Christian leaders say you should basically not ask anyone on a date without knowing this and of course, be sure to guard her heart. Then there are those that say, we can causally date at first. But here’s the thing, if you casually date more than one person in your church or community it can cause all sorts of problems.
It only takes one person to feel scorned to mess up your whole standing as a guy. One side says nothing casual is ok and the other side says, just date around, it’s all good – as long as it’s “Christian”. * All of this makes men hesitant, both because they are confused about what is right** and by what is expected. When I was dating I pretty much took my chances anywhere other than my own church.